The Inner Teacher -- Care of Parents

The seeker says:
“I have an aging parent, a mother, who is very difficult.
I am here to care for her, but we cannot seem to communicate or get along.
What should I do?”

The Inner Teacher replies:

When a parent grows old, the child becomes the mirror.
In that mirror, the parent sees their youth fading, their control slipping, their body betraying them.
They often respond with fear disguised as anger, pride disguised as stubbornness.
You, the child, now grown, stand before that storm of emotion and think it is aimed at you — but it is not.
It is the soul’s protest against impermanence.

You cannot change how another meets their own decline.
But you can change how you meet them.
When she raises her voice, listen beneath the sound.
When she criticizes, hear the trembling of someone afraid to vanish.
When she clings, recognize the loneliness that waits behind her eyes.

To care for someone who resists your care is an advanced form of love.
It is no longer love for reward or affection.
It is love for love’s sake.

Breathe before speaking.
See the frightened child hidden inside your mother.
Do not argue with her fear.
Sit beside it, and let your calm become her comfort.

And when the day ends and your patience has run thin,
forgive yourself.
You are human, not saint.
You are learning to love where love is hardest to give —
and that is the highest practice of all.

Walk gently, even through the storm.
For one day, your own child may sit beside you in the same silence,
learning from your peace.